What A Difference A Decade Makes

About 10 years ago, this was what I wanted in a guy:

• Family, religious, and educational backgrounds similar to my own
• Roughly the same taste as mine in movies, music, and TV shows (though I don't think I've ever found this, except with one guy who barely ever knew I was alive)
  
• Good conversational skills so that we could talk nonstop for six hours and still have plenty to say
• Cute smile
  
• Confidence
  
• Sense of humor
• Intellect
• Love of reading
  
• Strong ambition/work ethic
• Consideration and respect for other people
  
• Ability to spell and use correct grammar (well -- that's always a given, for me)
  
• A personality outgoing enough to balance out my hyper-serious, quiet, introverted one
• No tattoos or piercings
  
• Willingness to dress nicely when required
  
• Blah. . . blah. . . blah
• Oh yeah, and if he could cook, that would be a wonderful bonus.
  

Here is what I would want now, if I were looking for somebody to date:

• A functioning pulse
  
• Some degree of sanity
• Interest in WOMEN -- NOT men -- *WOMEN*
• Must at least live in the same state
  
• No kids or desire ever to have them (which, right off the bat, eliminates 99% of everyone I've ever known)
  
• No past or present marriages (which means I would now be limiting myself to guys five years younger than I am)
• No clingy/possessive exes who phone and e-mail them around the clock, refer to them as their "best friends," and have massive problems with their ever dating anyone else (even while those exes are always inevitably dating someone, themselves)
  
• On a similar note -- no exes whom they put on a sky-high pedestal and will never fully get over
  

. . . and that pretty well covers it.

One reason I'm not looking for anybody to date is that, in this age bracket, even my significantly-edited list is full of qualities that seemingly cannot co-exist.

I like being in charge of my remote control, anyway.

Tonight's Entertainment

1) Coming home at 9:15 p.m. and treating myself to breakfast-for-dinner after a long, hard work day. Chocolate chip waffles! Yeah, seriously!

2) Swapping childhood memories with my sister through e-mail. The first one she submitted was one I'd TOTALLY forgotten. The "don't-run-into-a-tree" game! I was amazed!

3) Listening to the '90s channel on Music Choice (most of it really, really bad) and joking about it with friends online. I wish they were here in person, but on Friday the 13th, they will be!

November so far is fun!

Seesaw

Favorite sentence today: "Have you been losing weight?"

Least favorite sentence today (when I checked my messages at work): "Your mailbox is full."

(Actually, that might be my least favorite sentence on this planet.)

Just Have to Say...

. . . YAY!

The upstairs walk-through (which I neglected for eons) is finally done, and I love it!

It has a futon decorated with comfy pillows and blankets, a bedside table with a touch lamp and alarm clock, and all this other random stuff (though I'll admit that some of the gadgets look really stuck in the 1990s, at this point). Stereo, Xbox, CD rack, TV with cable, and combined VCR/DVD player. Shelves full of stuffed animals, DVDs, and videos (yeah, videos -- I know -- stop laughing!). Plus, there's a crazy amount of floor and closet space. I can easily exercise in there now. . . or just hang out with a book and some popcorn. . . or take a wonderful nap. Whatever.

Bring on the overnight guests; I am practically too psyched to see straight!

Possibly Wasting My "Breath"

Dear Numerous People,

"It's" = contraction for "it is" or "it has," as in "It's a rainy day today" or "It's been fun."

"Its" = possessive, as in "Its color changed to green."

So, there you go. Now GET IT RIGHT, because I'm sick of seeing this butchered by college-educated people in their 30s every single damn day.

Love,

The Hilmeister

Brilliant Product Concept

Perhaps stackable plastic containers should not be stacked so tightly inside each other that they turn your fingernails bright purple and make you practically die of pain when you're trying to pry them apart.

Just a suggestion.

The Week of Kitchen Abandonment

It's come to my attention that today was my first time eating dinner at home in the last eight days.

October 15: There was a spaghetti dinner at the office for work.

October 16: I had a dinner outing at a hamburger restaurant for my second job.

October 17: My parents suggested I come over for pizza at night.

October 18: My godparents, who live out of state and whom I hadn't seen in eight years, were in town and therefore invited me, my parents, and some of their old friends out to a pizzeria.

October 19: My parents hosted a dinner party for my sister's birthday.

October 20: My parents came over to see my new furniture, then offered to take me -- can you guess where this is going? -- OUT TO DINNER. (At this point, I'm having dinner with my parents way more often than when I actually lived with them.)

October 21: My friend, who had helped me with getting a great deal on the aforementioned new furniture, suddenly took me up on my offer to treat him TO DINNER. At a RESTAURANT. (Another hamburger place, by the way.)

Today, as you can imagine, I've been giving the kitchen a compensatory workout. Pumpkin pancakes for breakfast. Chicken cacciatore in the slow cooker for dinner (though I suspect that the onions were major attention whores and insisted on dominating the entire flavor). Pumpkin cake rolls (yes, pumpkin again) with cream cheese filling for dessert. Yummy!

Hey -- cut me a break, here. Somebody has to use up all these groceries from five days ago before they turn into science projects!