Yesterday, I walked around Target without buying anything.
Never mind that I kept my eyes focused straight ahead the whole time (like gazing along an invisible narrow tunnel), did not even glance at the merchandise in either direction, and made sure my glasses were off so that I couldn't see anything very clearly. I still feel the need to reiterate this, since it's something I never, ever thought I could truthfully say: I HAVE NOW WALKED AROUND THE ENTIRE STORE OF TARGET WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING.
One day, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I might make myself a T-shirt with that statement boldly emblazoned on it for posterity. But then, here's something else, something that inspires significantly more shame than pride: I played lasertag without working up a sweat or brutally kicking my opponents' butts, and afterwards, for hours, my non-dominant hand shook uncontrollably from the sheer exertion of holding down the buttons on the gun. This made me feel old and pathetic. This was frankly a little jarring to me, considering I was once among the 10 most avid lasertag addicts in the universe.
I currently am not so sure that I even know myself anymore.
Never mind that I kept my eyes focused straight ahead the whole time (like gazing along an invisible narrow tunnel), did not even glance at the merchandise in either direction, and made sure my glasses were off so that I couldn't see anything very clearly. I still feel the need to reiterate this, since it's something I never, ever thought I could truthfully say: I HAVE NOW WALKED AROUND THE ENTIRE STORE OF TARGET WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING.
One day, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I might make myself a T-shirt with that statement boldly emblazoned on it for posterity. But then, here's something else, something that inspires significantly more shame than pride: I played lasertag without working up a sweat or brutally kicking my opponents' butts, and afterwards, for hours, my non-dominant hand shook uncontrollably from the sheer exertion of holding down the buttons on the gun. This made me feel old and pathetic. This was frankly a little jarring to me, considering I was once among the 10 most avid lasertag addicts in the universe.
I currently am not so sure that I even know myself anymore.
2 comments:
I wish I could do that at Barnes and Noble or Borders. The only way I can not spend money at either of those two places is to not go to those two places.
Oh yeah, those are tough too. I used to have fairly severe problems in Yankee Candle and (to a lesser extent) Bath & Body Works, but think I'm kind of moving past those now.
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