Well, folks, I guess it's that time of year again. The sun is shining. . . the birds are singing. . . the kids are graduating.
From preschool.
I never attended preschool in my life, but getting through it is apparently a pretty huge deal, because I've heard a LOT in recent weeks about people's kids' preschool graduation ceremonies. How the audience consists of 300+ parents. How the children wear caps/gowns and walk across a mini-stage to collect diplomas while music bellows and cameras flash. And not just that, but they have big GRADUATION PARTIES afterwards. I don't know what these parties look like, exactly, but sometimes they sound like the Golden Globe Awards in terms of hype. Maybe some are casual picnics in the backyard with a tent, a clown, and outdoor games galore. Maybe some are formally catered banquets with a live jazz band and thousands of tiny lights twinkling overhead -- i.e., events that rival wedding receptions or high school senior proms. (Speaking of proms, I've noticed that there now are "prom magazines" the same way there have long been "bridal magazines," and that actually sort of brings me to my next point.)
What ever happened to letting kids be kids? Not having to arrange every detail of every activity? Not having to plan and organize the living daylights out of everything until it's "perfect"? It's bad enough to see "My Super Sweet 16," or whatever, where parents fork out $100,000 and hire celebrities to appear at their daughters' birthday bashes as if they were merely buying gum at the dollar store. Now, four-year-olds are thrown into the center of massive celebrations for finishing preschool successfully? What next? I realize I'm on a rather obnoxious soapbox, but I do feel saddened by the materialism. Plain-and-simple innovation (and I hesitate even to use that word, because it sounds like a corporate "buzz word") doesn't seem that vital anymore.
I feel for the kids who won't know what it's like to throw some blankets over a card table, crawl under there, pretend to have set up a house, and just have fun imagining everything. Giving voices to their relatively plain dolls. Performing plays that they created in their own minds. Making up stories or scenarios on the spot. Coloring outside the lines. Making little mistakes and then -- gasp! -- living to tell about it. Getting dirt on their jeans. Spontaneously running over to each other's houses, instead of going on "play dates" where every move is closely supervised. Playing for the pure joy of playing, not to lose weight, become more coordinated, win an athletic competition, or achieve some specific goal/purpose as if they were already adults.
I kind of speak from experience. Not that my own perspective is directly linked to preschool graduation parties, mind you. It's more that maybe -- just maybe -- the day I became a structured, super-militant neat freak was also the day I lost sight of myself.
From preschool.
I never attended preschool in my life, but getting through it is apparently a pretty huge deal, because I've heard a LOT in recent weeks about people's kids' preschool graduation ceremonies. How the audience consists of 300+ parents. How the children wear caps/gowns and walk across a mini-stage to collect diplomas while music bellows and cameras flash. And not just that, but they have big GRADUATION PARTIES afterwards. I don't know what these parties look like, exactly, but sometimes they sound like the Golden Globe Awards in terms of hype. Maybe some are casual picnics in the backyard with a tent, a clown, and outdoor games galore. Maybe some are formally catered banquets with a live jazz band and thousands of tiny lights twinkling overhead -- i.e., events that rival wedding receptions or high school senior proms. (Speaking of proms, I've noticed that there now are "prom magazines" the same way there have long been "bridal magazines," and that actually sort of brings me to my next point.)
What ever happened to letting kids be kids? Not having to arrange every detail of every activity? Not having to plan and organize the living daylights out of everything until it's "perfect"? It's bad enough to see "My Super Sweet 16," or whatever, where parents fork out $100,000 and hire celebrities to appear at their daughters' birthday bashes as if they were merely buying gum at the dollar store. Now, four-year-olds are thrown into the center of massive celebrations for finishing preschool successfully? What next? I realize I'm on a rather obnoxious soapbox, but I do feel saddened by the materialism. Plain-and-simple innovation (and I hesitate even to use that word, because it sounds like a corporate "buzz word") doesn't seem that vital anymore.
I feel for the kids who won't know what it's like to throw some blankets over a card table, crawl under there, pretend to have set up a house, and just have fun imagining everything. Giving voices to their relatively plain dolls. Performing plays that they created in their own minds. Making up stories or scenarios on the spot. Coloring outside the lines. Making little mistakes and then -- gasp! -- living to tell about it. Getting dirt on their jeans. Spontaneously running over to each other's houses, instead of going on "play dates" where every move is closely supervised. Playing for the pure joy of playing, not to lose weight, become more coordinated, win an athletic competition, or achieve some specific goal/purpose as if they were already adults.
I kind of speak from experience. Not that my own perspective is directly linked to preschool graduation parties, mind you. It's more that maybe -- just maybe -- the day I became a structured, super-militant neat freak was also the day I lost sight of myself.
3 comments:
I remember we had some kind of 8th grade "graduation ceremony" and I thought it was the stupidest thing I had ever heard of. That was at the beginning of the trend to have preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school graduations.
Iggy and I already decided each kid is going to get ONE organized extracurricular activity. Any more than that, and mom & dad will go crazy busing the kids around and watching rehearsals or games. It's for their sake too. You know how sometimes you see kids just burst out crying in the middle of Target? That's one reason why.
Likewise, I would love to celebrate an understated "graduation" of middle/elementary/preK with a nice dinner and a pat on the back.
I have a theory too that over scheduling kids reduces their creativity, patience, and their ability to endure silence or boredom, but that's just a theory.
But it seems like even if we have our priorities worked out, the world is pushing us the other way. If 300+ parents are going to the graduation, how will our kid feel when we don't go? If all the other kids are listing 500 activities on their college resume, what happens when our kid wants to go to Harvard with just a smattering of interests? etc. It's a conundrum.
I agree with everything you said. Peer pressure IS hard, something I still deal with a lot. People seemed shocked that I wasn't fazed when the parents skipped my college graduation, but I was 22 and totally understood their reasoning. It's a little harder to explain it to a 4-year-old.
Graduation ceremonies are for the parents, not the grads. I remember not caring one bit about high school / college / grad school graduations. Heck, I remember high school graduation was actually an excuse for my parents to invite everyone they knew for a giant party, I barely knew anyone there and they fiercely resisted letting my friends attend.
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